pastor

Just for Today

hindscoachingLeave a comment

I was walking through the mall the other day when I saw this tee shirt in a store window. “Not Today, Satan” struck me as a humorous and positively rebellious sentiment.

Satan, at its root, means “adversary,” “one who plots against another.” In religious traditions, Satan is the adversary of God who tempts and abuses humankind in the divine drama. To say “Not today, Satan” is like saying NO to your enemy, the person, place, or things that keeps you from being the person you desire to be.

As I walked, I thought about the demons in our lives, and I wondered what it would be like to get up each morning and start the day by saying “Not Today, _______.”

  • Not today, self-doubt.
  • Not today, sadness.
  • Not today, procrastination.
  • Not today, guilt trip.
  • Not today, hurt pride.
  • Not today, grief.
  • Not today, fear.
  • Not today, hatred.

Too often we allow negative emotions to rule our day. They keep us from contentment and accomplishment. They can be overwhelming, particularly when we have been in a period of heartache or depression. These emotional states take their toll on even ordinarily optimistic people. We wonder if we will ever be ‘normal’ again.

What drew my attention to this tee shirt is that the sentiment was expressed as a small step. One day—today—I will not let the demons get to me. It does not require making overwhelming commitments that we may not be able to keep. It only requires that we give one day to reject our adversaries. Maybe then one day can turn to two days and two days to three. And eventually, being “normal” is not so hard to reach anymore.

Dana was feeling overwhelmed by her fear of losing her position as a first-call pastor. She had been serving the small rural church for two years. In just a matter of months after she started she began to realize that the church was not a good fit for her. She worried that leaving so soon would make it difficult for her to find another call. “What if no one else wants me?” she asked during a coaching session. As we got further into the session I asked, “What would happen if just for tomorrow you decided to let go of your fear? What would that feel like?” By breaking it down to just one day, Dana was able to imagine more courage and joy. She listed things she would do that day, and the things she would not do. I could hear more animation and energy in her voice. Her fear was not so overwhelming any more.

We all experience demons in life, those emotions and negative thoughts that seem to plot against us. Some are caused my external things that happen to us, others by inner voices that sabotage our true selves. We can allow these demons to control us or we can choose to put them in their place.

To say it in a positive and proactive tone, we can proclaim: “Today, I choose _______!”

  • Today, I choose self-confidence!
  • Today, I choose joy!
  • Today, I choose to get it done!
  • Today, I will let go of the guilt!
  • Today, I choose forgiveness!
  • Today, I choose consolation!
  • Today, I choose courage!
  • Today, I choose love!

Either way you put it, give yourself permission to be the person you want to be, if only for today. Boldly proclaim it. Don’t let your demons choose for you.

Ten Things Pastors Can Do to Have a Great Day

hindscoachingLeave a comment

Pastoral ministry is hard work, and often stressful. We have the privilege and responsibility of accompanying people through their most vulnerable circumstances. Our parishioners have expectations of us, and look up to us for guidance and moral example. It is easy to succumb to the burdens of ministry, and to put ourselves last on the list of those who need care.
To be healthy and happy leaders, we need to be intentional about our own attitudes and self-care. I offer here ten things that pastors can do each day to have a better day. This is not a complete list, but just a few ideas I want to share with you.

  1. Start your day with happy thoughts. Research shows that for every negative emotion, we need three positive emotions to overcome an overall negative point of view. When you first wake up in the morning, think of someone or something that makes you happy, remember a joke or a funny occurrence. Say, “thank you” for a new day, and a good night’s sleep. Put a smile on your face first thing and it will go with you the rest of the day.
  2. Schedule time for exercise or play. Take a walk or hike. Play a game with your children. Go to the gym. Find some way to get your body moving for at least 10 minutes. Do this three times a day and you will have exercised for 30 minutes. This will make your body and your mind stronger, and make your feel better.
  3. Greet everyone you meet with a smile. Whether it is your family, a stranger on the street, a parishioner, or a co-worker, smile and say “hello.” Take at least one minute to talk with each person at work and at home. Let them know they are important to you, and you will be important to them.
  4. Listen more than you speak. In prayer, listen to God more than you talk to God. Listen to other people who are sharing themselves with you. Be intentional about giving them your undivided, undistracted attention.
  5. Listen to yourself. Be aware of how you are feeling emotionally and physically. Do you need a break from what you are doing? Are you thirsty or hungry? Are you able to focus on what you are doing or the person you are visiting? Being aware of your own emotional and physical needs helps you do what you need to take care of yourself, and be more in the moment.
  6. Eat well. Healthy meals and snacks make for a healthier, happier you. Make good choices about what you put into your body. When eating, be mindful of tastes, textures and smells, and avoid eating too fast. Really savor your food. You may find that you eat less and enjoy it more.
  7. Set healthy time boundaries. A 40-50 hour week is enough for any pastor. When you over-function or overwork, you set a poor example for your staff and parishioners. Hold dear your family and alone time. Keep Sabbath. When you go home, be home. Let go of the concerns of the workday, and be present with your family, God, and yourself.
  8. Let others own their own problems, and make their own choices. Be present for others, but you are not called to fix others or dole out unsolicited advice. Give it only when it is requested.
  9. Trust your staff and volunteers to do their tasks. Give encouragement, but don’t micromanage. Ministry is a communal affair. Even Jesus called people and equipped them to share in his ministry. He loved them even when they made mistakes, and he trusted them enough to send them out on their own. Micromanaging not only takes too much of your energy, it also disrespects the gifts and skills of others.
  10. End your day with gratitude. Just like you start your day with happy thoughts, finish your day by giving thanks to God for your life, your family, and your call. Name specific things and people from your day. Go to sleep with gratitude in your heart, and good thoughts on your mind.

What do you like to do to have a great day? Post your thoughts so that my readers and I might learn good habits from you.
If you want someone to help you have the life you want, contact me. I am committed to helping congregational leaders be the people God created them to be – whole, happy, and exceptional.